Life Hurts ~ God Heals ~ How To Avoid Relapse

 

“For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice, but what I hate, that I do. If then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law, that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells, for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do, but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me” (Romans 7:15-20).

Relapse ~ Falling back into a self-defeating pattern. How does it happen? 1) Complacency, we become complacent. 2) Confusion, we rationalize. 3) Compromise, we return to that risky behavior. 4) Catastrophe, we give in to the ould hurt or habit.

The road to recovery is not a quick fix. Sometimes the road is jagged, has a lot of twists and turns. Sometimes it is two steps forward and one step back.

No matter how we behave, God WANTS to heal us.

Part One ~ “R” Realize we are not God…

Part Two ~ “E” Earnestly believe that God exists…

Part Three ~ “C”  Consciously choose to commit all our life and will to Christ’s care and control.

Part Four ~ “O”  Openly examine and confess our faults to ourselves, to God, and to someone we trust.

Part Five ~ “V“ Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in our lives and humbly ask Him to remove our character defect.

Part Six ~ “E” Evaluate all my relationships and offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others except when to do so would harm them or others.

Part Seven ~ “R” Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for your life and gain the power to do it.

What Can Cause A Relapse? Why do we let it happen?

1) Reverting to will power ~ We think we have the ability to do it ourselves and stop depending on the dependency of God

“Are you so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit, are you now being made perfect by the flesh?” (Galatians 3:3)

2) Ignoring one of the steps ~ We can’t pick and choose then expect God to fulfill His promises. We need to follow all of God’s steps one at a time.

“You ran well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth?” (Galatians 5:7)

3) Trying to recover on our own without support ~ Don’t be afraid to get into relationships, they are for our best interest. (Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto).

We can’t find healing on our own. The root of our problems are relational. Live in God’s healing together. Don’t try to do it alone, it will not work.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up” (Ecc. 4:9-10).

4) Becoming prideful ~ Stay humble or you will stumble. Pride sets us up for failure.

“Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18).

“Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall” (1 Cor. 10:12).

How To Prevent A Relapse

Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for your life and gain the power to do it.

“Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak” (Mark 14:38).

1) Evaluation ~ Continue to evaluate our lives and how we are doing. “Let us search out and examine our ways, and turn back to the Lord” (Lam. 3:40).

What am I to evaluate?

Physical ~ What is my body telling me? Am I tense because I’m stressed out? Like the warning lights on our cars…pay attention, fix it.

Emotional ~ What am I feeling? Like a pop when you shake it, it explodes out. Eventually we will explode if we don’t deal with it.

Relational ~ Am I at peace with everyone or in conflict with someone that is keeping me from having peace and healing?

Spiritual ~ Am I relying on God and His power everyday or am I ignoring Him?

“But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another” (Galatians 6:4).

Expect God to help with answers and to give the power, wisdom and strength we need.

2) Meditation ~ Slow down long enough to hear God. Have time in our life to hear God, busyness stifles us from hearing God.

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bring forth its fruit in its season, whose leaves shall not wither, and whatever he does shall prosper” (Psalm 1:1-3).

3) Prayer ~ This is how we plug into God’s power.

“Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen” (Matthew 6:9-13).

God is so committed to our healing that He went to the Cross and died for us. Remember the sacrifice He made for us and be obedient to Him and His Word. Examine yourself and your heart. Recommit to Him and what He wants to do in your life.

Life Hurts ~ God Heals ~ Repair Relationships

R.E.C.O.V.E.R.Y

“Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32).

Part One ~ “R” Realize we are not God…

Part Two ~ “E” Earnestly believe that God exists…

Part Three ~ “C”  Consciously choose to commit all our life and will to Christ’s care and control.

Part Four ~ “O”  Openly examine and confess our faults to ourselves, to God, and to someone we trust.

Part Five ~ “V“ Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in our lives and humbly ask Him to remove our character defect. Allow God’s Spirit to guide, direct, mold and make us into the image of Christ.

Part Six ~ “E” Evaluate all my relationships and offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others except when to do so would harm them or others.

Trying to right a wrong doesn’t always go the way we would like it to go, but we need to offer forgiveness and also ask for forgiveness. We are imperfect people, asking other imperfect people’s forgiveness.

You never have to forgive others more than God has forgiven you.

WHY FORGIVE THOSE WHO HAVE HURT ME?

1) Because God has forgive us ~ “…bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ has forgiven you, so you also must do” (Colossians 3:13).  “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). We must remember how much God has forgiven us.

2) Because resentment doesn’t work ~ “For wrath kills a foolish man, and envy slays a simple on” (Job 5:2) ~ “You are only hurting yourself with your anger” (Job 18:4a) It only hurts us if we don’t forgive others. It hurts us emotionally, physically and mentally.

HOW DO I FORGIVE THOSE WHO HAVE HURT ME?

1) Reveal our hurt. Get real with ourselves. Own up to what they did. Start with disclosure. Make a list of those who have harmed you and what they did.

2) We need to release our offender. Quit holding on to the hurt. Let it go! Write a letter to those who have hurt you, even if you don’t give or send it to them (Matthew 18:21-22).

3) Replace our hurt with God’s peace. Let God settle the score. He is going to make everything just. He can put the pieces back together again (Colossians 3:15).

WHY MAKE AMENDS WITH THOSE WHO HAVE HURT ME?

We have to do life God’s way, not our way!

“…looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled…” (Hebrews 12:15).

HOW DO I MAKE AMENDS WITH THOSE WHO HAVE HURT ME?

1) Make a list of those we have harmed and what we did. Do you have a debt? Have you broken a promise? Are you over controlling? Hypercritical? Lying? Abusive verbally? Emotionally? Physically? Forgetting? Unfaithful?

2) Think how we would like others to make amends with us. “Do to others as you would like them to do to you” (Luke 6:31).

There is a right time. “Because for ever matter there is a time and judgment, though the misery of man increases greatly” (Ecc. 8).

You have to have the right attitude.  Don’t try to justify it, just resume responsibility. “…but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head ~ Christ~” (Ephesians 4:15).

Never underestimate a sincere apology.

Is going to that person appropriate? The right thing to do? Ask God to help you! “There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health” (Proverbs 12:18).

3) We can refocus our life on God and His will for our life. “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” (Romans 12:18).

God wants to help us replace our hurts with His peace regardless of our actions. recognize the peace and freedom God wants to bring into your life. Open your heart and life to Him.

What It Means To Believe In Jesus

Many believe, but many don’t live by the power of God.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).

Nicodemus went to Jesus by night (may reveal the timidity of his faith), however, his faith was developing (John 3:1-17).

He wanted to find out the truth and what to do. So, he asks Jesus; ” How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?”

We have to walk the walk, not just talk the talk…actions speak louder than words. “Not everyone who says to Me, “Lord, Lord,” shall enter into the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My father in heaven” (Matthew 7:21).

Genuine faith will naturally produce good works, the two complement each other.  Faith itself will demonstrate itself in love for others. “What does it profit , my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him?” (James 2:14).

Jesus invited people to “Follow Me.”

So, how are we to respond to His invitation to believe and walk by faith?

F…Follow His example. “For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you” (John 13:15-17).

Who are you following for your example? Parent? Movie/Sports star? Peer? A program? Are you willing to follow Jesus? He wants to show us how life is meant to be lived. He is worthy of us following Him, NOT a religion. Life is about living relationships. He came to begin a relationship with us. When we follow Him, we get truth. No longer having to walk in the dark.

Be wise, follow Jesus. Listen to His leading by faith.

A…Accept His grace. God gives us what we need, not what we deserve. Freedom from guilt and shame. “For if by one man’s offense death reigned through the one, much more those who receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ” (Romans 5:17)

Do you want your life to count? We can either spend, waste, or invest our life. But remember, there are consequences for what we do in life. We will reap what we sow.

Jesus died to declare us not guilty! We must receive His grace.

I…Invest your life in Jesus. Live your life in faith. Ask God how to invest your life in Him and things that are important to Him. “And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourself to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God” (Romans 6:13).

Everything we have is a gift from God! “God, who made the world and everything in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands. Nor is He worshiped with men’s hands, as though He needed anything, since He gives to all life, breath, and all things…for in Him we live and move and have our being”  (Acts 17:24-28).

Do you want success in life or significance?

T…Trust His wisdom and strength. We trust Him for our salvation, do we trust Him for everything else? “As you therefore have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, rooted and built up in Him and established in the faith, as you have been taught, abounding in it with thanksgiving” (Col. 2:6).

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).

Do you believe this or do you worry? When we worry, we are not putting our complete faith and trust in Jesus.

H…Hold on to His promises. They are like an insurance policy. They help us overcome whatever tragedy. “Thus God, determining to show more abundantly to the heirs of promise the immutability of His counsel, confirmed it by an oath, that by two immutable things , in which it is impossible for God to lie, we might have strong consolation, who have fled for refuge to lay hold of the hope set before us” (Heb. 6:17-18).

We have to know what’s in the insurance policy, God’s Word, His promises. Do you know what is in your insurance policy?

Live on His promises. It is a life of faith. Living in His amazing love.

Jesus said to her, I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this? (John 11: 25-26)

Do you believe that Jesus will do for you what He promises?

Faith in Jesus is not a passive belief, it’s an active adventure for those who put their faith in Jesus!

For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39).

Even in the night, Jesus tells us the truth and he will show us how He wants to change us from the inside out like He did Nicodemus.

Are you willing to: Follow, Accept, Invest, Trust and Hold On?

Seeing People As God Sees Them

Seeing through God’s eyes ~ Part 2

Jesus said to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it. You shall love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37-39).

“But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love” (1 John 4:8).

Now He was teaching in the synagogues on the Sabbath. And behold, there was a woman who had a spirit of infirmity for eighteen years, and was bent over and could in no way raise herself up. But when Jesus saw her, He called her to Him and said to her, “Woman, you are loosed from your infirmity.” And He laid His hands on her, and immediately she was made straight, and glorified God (Luke 13:10-13).

Jesus noticed this woman and He notices you also. He knows every hair on your head!

Here are five things to help you see others…

1) Look around. How often do you observe those around you who need help?

But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd (Matthew 9:36).

Attention is necessary for a healthy life. Like a baby who needs constant attention, so the lives of people need attention.

The Lord bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you, the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace (Numbers 6:24-26).

There is something peaceful when someone notices you. Life is good, life is peaceful. Connect with God. Connect with others. Slow down, you never see Jesus in a hurry. Have compassion on others.

2) Take a risk. Notice the cast away, lonely, down troddened. Jesus always took risks. A risk of what others will think of Him…

For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? (Matthew 5:46-47)

For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if one died for all, then all died…(2 Cor. 5:14).

Take a risk. Let someone know you’re going to pray for them. Do a random act of kindness. Who can you act like Jesus to?

3) Reach out to someone who is not receiving love.

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you (Ephesians 4:32).

Ways to reach out:

Jesus saw her…Look around, observe those around you who need help.

Jesus spoke to her…Do you know the power of your words? They are powerful. They speak life or death, blessing or curses.

Jesus put His hands on her…He personally touched her. We all need human touch. It is very powerful.

Tell someone this week you love them and give them a great big hug!

4) Expect some criticism. Don’t be more concerned with policy than people.

The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, “Look, a glutton and a winebibber, a friend of tax collectors and sinners” (Luke 7:34).

For the Son of Man has come to save that which was lost (Matthew 18:11).

5) Seize the moment. Make a difference in someones life.

My little children, let us not love in the word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth (1 John 4:18).

And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love to one another and to all, just as we do to you,…(1 Thess. 3:12).

Do as Jesus did, you can’t  imagine or conceive what will take place!

Laodicea ~ A Complacent Church

You’ve Got Mail…What Jesus says to the last of the churches

You are comfortable where you are and your ceasing to do what I have called you to do (Rev. 3:14-22)

See your need as never before.

These things say the Amen, the Faithful and True Witness, The beginning of the creation of God: “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot…” (v. 14-15).

1. See the shocking truth about yourself. Measure yourself by God not man. “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot…” (v.15).

So, how do you start? Start by seeing the truth about God.

He is…The Great I AM, The Amen “so be it.” He is worthy of your time. Worthy to listen too and get to know, build an intimate relationship with Him.

He is…Faithful and True Witness. Worthy of your trust. When He tells you something you know it’s the truth.

He is…The Ruler of God’s creation. He is worthy of your worship.

Some of us are cold (we know where we stand), some lukewarm (not much love for the lost-no time or passion for worship), some hot (a desire and passion for things of God. Doesn’t mean perfect, stays plugged in to Jesus).

2. Recognize and admit your desperate need you have in your life.  “Because you say, I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing – and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked…” (v. 17).

We think we provide our needs by what we acquire. We think we’ve met our own needs through:

Riches: What we acquire ~ Rules: What we require ~ Knowledge: How we inquire ~ Relationships: Who we desire ~ Achievement: How we aspire (achievement and success).

But remember: We’re all going to expire.

The more self-sufficient we think we are the more we unknowingly become: wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked (Romans 7:24-25).

3. Go to Jesus alone to meet your deepest needs.

“I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined by fire, that you may be rich (faith in Jesus), white garments (purity), that you may be clothed (grace) and anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see (wisdom) (v.18).

Do you feel you don’t need Jesus? Your doing just fine? Throw up a few “thank You Lord’s?” More on doing your own thing?

4. Respond as a deeply loved child ~ be earnest and repent.

“As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent” (v. 19).

God doesn’t punish us, He disciplines us. Punishment makes us want to run and hide. discipline invites us to learn and grow.

We know what is right and what is wrong.

5. Continually open the door to Jesus in your life. If you open the door, He WILL come in! He loves you and wants to tell you how right your life can be.

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock, if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me” (v.20).

To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches (v.21-22).

The One who made you stands there knocking. Are you listening to what the Spirit says?

Thyatira ~ A Tolerant Church

You’ve Got Mail…What Jesus says to the churches

The trade was coming to them and they were becoming prosperous. Partying and immoral lifestyle become their way…Compromise, compromise (Rev. 2:18-29)

What is said about Jesus?

These things says the Son of God, who has eyes like a flame of fire (they are piercing), and His feet like fine brass (His footing is firm) (v.18).

He cares for us in the midst of difficulties. He holds our lives ~ He won’t drop us when we need Him to hold us.

What is said about the church?

He knows your work, love, service,  faith, and your patience, and as for your works, the last are more than the first. Nonetheless, I have a few things against you, because you allow that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess, to teach My servants to commit sexual immorality and eat things sacrificed to idols. And I gave her time to repent of her sexual immorality, and she did not repent (vs. 19-21).

Don’t follow Jezebel’s teaching of adultery, sexual immorality, or idol worship (vs. 22-23). Don’t drop your guard in the midst of your faith journey.

Going through a season of life with all going well may be an expression of God’s patience (grace) and not His blessing.

He is waiting for us to REPENT. This says Jesus is so full of love and grace, He has patience with us. We CANNOT be engaged in “the world” and God’s both.

The challenge of faithful Christian’s? Hold fast what you have till I come (v.25).

Balance the truth and be tolerant ~ because Jesus sure does.  Grace, grace and more grace.

Truth without tolerance equals legalism…So about rules they forget about God’s love. People without joy, hateful, always measuring people, deceptive. Good on the outside, rotten on the inside.

Tolerance without truth equals compromise…tolerant, everythings just fine. So open minded their brains fall out.

Truth with tolerance equals balance…And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth (John 1:14).

So, how do we balance the two?

1. Is this a major or minor issue according to the Bible? Don’t major on the minors.

Principle: In major issues have unity. In minor issues have diversity. In all issues show grace.

2. Do you have a Biblical conviction about the issue? Know what God’s Word says.

Principle: If its doubtful, its dirty. God with what and how God convicts you (Romans 14:5-22).

3. How will your decision impact an immature believer? We are not an island of ourselves.

Principle: I have a responsibility to others.

4. Will this reflect my love for the Lord?

Principle: I must remember whose I am, then consider if an activity or attitude will demonstrate my love for jesus.

5. What would my spiritual role model do? WWJD…What Would Jesus Do?

Principle: Spend time with mature Christians

The incredible reward? I will give them the morning star (v. 28).

Jesus Christ Himself is the morning star. “I, Jesus, have sent My angel to testify to you these things in the churches. I am the Root and the Offspring of David, the Bright and Morning Star (Rev. 22:16).

What role of influence can you play in another person’s life? Ask God to use you and that you will not compromise God’s truth of Jesus.

He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches (v.29).

God’s truth is still the truth no matter what society says or does…

Pergamos ~ A Confused Church

You’ve Got Mail…What Jesus says to the churches

What Jesus says to Pregamos, a confused church ~ Revelation 2:12-17

How do we live a godly life in a world that is far from God? How do we clear up confusion?

You’ve Got Mail…Go to God’s Word to read it.

Respect the authority of God’s Word. These things say, He who has the sharp two-edged sword (Rev. 2:12).
For the Word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart (Hebrews 4:12)

The truth is the truth no matter what people think. There are many who won’t believe God’s Word, but that doe not stop the truth from being the truth. God’s truth will erase any doubt.  We all need a standard to live our lives. Let God’s Word be our standard ~ not the world.

Recognize the dangers of a lie. I know your works and where you dwell, where satan’s throne is…(Rev. 2:13-15). Keeping everyone satisfied ~ Everything is just fine ~ All roads lead to the same place. LIES!

* Satan’s throne warns us of the popular lie. A desire to just want to fit in ~ Everybody’s doing it. LIES! 

* The Balaamites ((Numbers 22-25) warn of the pleasure lie. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas ~ You can do this or that, it’s all okay ~ I’m not hurting anyone. LIES!

* The Nicolaitans warn us of the personality centered lie. Don’t align yourself to be led astray by leaders. You deserve better ~ You don’t need to be treated like that ~ Do your own thing, God just wants you to be happy. LIES! 

* Repent of the sin of encouraging false teaching. Repent, or else I will come to you quickly and will fight against them with the sword of My mouth (Rev. 2:16).

If anyone teaches otherwise and does not consent to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which accords with godliness, he is proud, knowing nothing, but is obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling, evil suspicions, useless wranglings of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth,who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. From such withdraw yourself (1 Timothy 6:3-5).

Lies make their way into our lives through relationships. Trust God’s truths above your thoughts, opinions, television, ads, magazines, etc. Don’t fall for the lies. Don’t be an enabler.

We can’t argue with the truth ~ truth is truth!

Rejoice in your relationship with Christ. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. I will give some of the hidden manna to eat. And I will give him a white stone, and on the stone a new name written which no one knows except him who receives it (Rev. 2:17).

The hidden manna: Jesus Christ, Bread of Life, who wants to satisfy our needs.

The white stone: an intimate relationship for eternity with Jesus ~ between you and Jesus personally.

Don’t let your guard down. Don’t fall for the lies of the world. Stay faithful, don’t buy into the junk of our world today. Do what Jesus says ~ Have ears to hear what the Spirit says. He is faithful. Stand on the truthful promises of God. His Word is living, active, and intimate.

Remember, this world is not our home.