Archive for anger

Life Hurts ~ God Heals ~ Repair Relationships

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 29, 2013 by greatvictories

forgive

R.E.C.O.V.E.R.Y

“Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32).

Part One ~ “R” Realize we are not God…

Part Two ~ “E” Earnestly believe that God exists…

Part Three ~ “C”  Consciously choose to commit all our life and will to Christ’s care and control.

Part Four ~ “O”  Openly examine and confess our faults to ourselves, to God, and to someone we trust.

Part Five ~ “V“ Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in our lives and humbly ask Him to remove our character defect. Allow God’s Spirit to guide, direct, mold and make us into the image of Christ.

Part Six ~ “EEvaluate all my relationships and offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others except when to do so would harm them or others.

Trying to right a wrong doesn’t always go the way we would like it to go, but we need to offer forgiveness and also ask for forgiveness. We are imperfect people, asking other imperfect people’s forgiveness.

You never have to forgive others more than God has forgiven you.

WHY FORGIVE THOSE WHO HAVE HURT ME?

1) Because God has forgive us ~ “…bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ has forgiven you, so you also must do” (Colossians 3:13).  “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). We must remember how much God has forgiven us.

2) Because resentment doesn’t work ~ “For wrath kills a foolish man, and envy slays a simple on” (Job 5:2) ~ “You are only hurting yourself with your anger” (Job 18:4a) It only hurts us if we don’t forgive others. It hurts us emotionally, physically and mentally.

HOW DO I FORGIVE THOSE WHO HAVE HURT ME?

1) Reveal our hurt. Get real with ourselves. Own up to what they did. Start with disclosure. Make a list of those who have harmed you and what they did.

2) We need to release our offender. Quit holding on to the hurt. Let it go! Write a letter to those who have hurt you, even if you don’t give or send it to them (Matthew 18:21-22).

3) Replace our hurt with God’s peace. Let God settle the score. He is going to make everything just. He can put the pieces back together again (Colossians 3:15).

WHY MAKE AMENDS WITH THOSE WHO HAVE HURT ME?

We have to do life God’s way, not our way!

“…looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled…” (Hebrews 12:15).

HOW DO I MAKE AMENDS WITH THOSE WHO HAVE HURT ME?

1) Make a list of those we have harmed and what we did. Do you have a debt? Have you broken a promise? Are you over controlling? Hypercritical? Lying? Abusive verbally? Emotionally? Physically? Forgetting? Unfaithful?

2) Think how we would like others to make amends with us. “Do to others as you would like them to do to you” (Luke 6:31).

There is a right time. “Because for ever matter there is a time and judgment, though the misery of man increases greatly” (Ecc. 8).

You have to have the right attitude.  Don’t try to justify it, just resume responsibility. “…but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head ~ Christ~” (Ephesians 4:15).

Never underestimate a sincere apology.

Is going to that person appropriate? The right thing to do? Ask God to help you! “There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health” (Proverbs 12:18).

3) We can refocus our life on God and His will for our life. “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” (Romans 12:18).

God wants to help us replace our hurts with His peace regardless of our actions. recognize the peace and freedom God wants to bring into your life. Open your heart and life to Him.

Life Hurts ~ God Heals ~ Coming Clean

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 24, 2013 by greatvictories

Coming Clean-man

R.E.C.O.V.E.R.Y.

How to get your person put together so your world looks fine.

“I have seen his ways, and will heal him, I will lead him also, and restore comforts unto him and to his mourners. I create the fruit of the lips, Peace, peace to him that is far off, and to him that is near, saith the Lord, and I will heal him” (Isaiah 57:18-19).

Part One ~ “R” – Realize we are not God: We admit we are powerless to control our tendency to do the wrong thing and our life is unmanageable. Naturally we do evil…In Christ we’re delivered from this body of death. That which we do we allow not. What we want to do is right but what we do is sin that dwells in us (Romans 7:15-17).

Part Two ~ “E” – Earnestly believe that God exists, that we matter to Him, and that He has the power to help us recover.

Part Three ~ “C” – Consciously choose to commit all our life and will to Christ’s care and control.

Part Four ~ “O” – Openly examine and confess our faults to ourselves, to God, and to someone we trust.

“Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man to whom the Lord imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile” (Psalm 32:1-2).

Reasons for this step of, Openly examine and confess our faults to ourselves, to God, and to someone we trust:

“He that covers his sins shall not prosper, but whosoever confesses and forsakes them shall have mercy” (Proverbs 28:13).

1) Guilt destroys my confidence. “What if people really found out. What would they think of me?”

2) Guilt damages my relationships. “Causes me to react with impatience, anger, spoil or indulge people.”

3) Guilt keeps me stuck in the past. “Look out the windshield, not the review mirror.”

Guilt can’t change the past and worry can’t change the future.

How to take this step to house cleaning spiritual discipline:

1) Take personal moral inventory. “Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the Lord” (Lamentations 3:40).

Get alone with paper and pen, ask God to help you uncover them, confess them to God. Take your time and be honest with yourself and with God.

Search me, O God, and know my heart, try me, and know my thoughts, and if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24).

2) Accept responsibility for it. “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8).

We are good at fooling ourselves and allowing “stuff” to rule over our lives. Wherever we go, there we are. We cannot run  from it (sin). Don’t minimize it or blame others. Admit we messed up.

3) Ask forgiveness from God. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

Take your list to God, confess your sins. Don’t beg God to forgive you. Don’t bargin or bribe Him. Just ask and believe that He is going to forgive you. Be humble.

“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord, though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow, though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool” (Isaiah 1:18).

4) Admit your faults to another person. “Confess your faults one to another, and pray for another, that you may be healed. The effective fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much” (James 5:16).

Who? Someone you can trust. “This is who I am.”

What do you say? Take your list and be honest.

When? As soon as possible.

5) Accept God’s forgiveness and forgive yourself. “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God, being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus” (Romans 3:23-24).

“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit” (Romans 8:1).

STOP packing those burdens of guilt! Christ died so we can be FREE!!

God wants to heal us of our guilt.

Life Hurts ~ God Heals ~ Letting Go and Letting God

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 20, 2013 by greatvictories

Life hurts-God heals1

R.E.C.O.V.E.R.Y.

We are imperfect people living in an imperfect world ~ we all need recovery in one way or another. We get stuck in anger, grief, fear, depression, bad habits, bad relationships, guilt, and whatever else.

Part One ~ “R” – Realize we are not God: We admit we are powerless to control our tendency to do the wrong thing and our life is unmanageable. Naturally we do evil…In Christ we’re delivered from this body of death. That which we do we allow not. What we want to do is right but what we do is sin that dwells in us (Romans 7:15-17).

Part Two ~ “E” – Earnestly believe that God exists, that we matter to Him, and that He has the power to help us recover.

Part Three ~ “C” – Consciously choose to commit all our life and will to Christ’s care and control.

“Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

What could keep us from taking this step?

1) Pride ~ We don’t want to admit we need help. Be willing to set pride aside, we are not in control.

“Before destruction the heart of a man is haughty, and before honor is humility” (Proverbs 18:12). “The wise in heart will receive commands, but a prating fool will fall” (Proverbs 10:8).

2) Guilt ~ We are ashamed to ask God for help. We feel we don’t have a right to keep going to God.

“…for innumerable evils have surrounded me, my iniquities have overtaken me, so that I am not able to look up, They have more than the hairs of my head, therefore my heart fails me” (Psalms 40:12).

God is always waiting, don’t let guilt keep you from going to Him.

3) Fear ~ We’re afraid of what we’ll have to give up.

“For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?” (Mark 8:36).

What is your fear? Giving up control? God wants to set us free from whatever controls us. Let go and let God take control of your life. Give up control! He wants to set us free. He wants a relationship with us. Give up everything to Him. He’ll give back one hundred fold. Give Him what you have and don’t be afraid.

4) Worry ~ We confuse the decision phase with the problem-solving phase.

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your cares on Him, for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6-7).

Let God take care of the things you can’t. Pain brings a softening u so that we give up our pride and turn to God for help, allowing Him to control what we can’t.

“…being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6).

5) Doubt ~ My faith seems so small.

“So Jesus said to them, because of your unbelief, for assuredly I say to you, if you have faith of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you” (Matthew 17:20).

We don’t have to have all the answers before turning to God. Don’t let doubt stop you! We don’t clean a fish before we catch it. We have little faith, but we have a BIG God!

How do we take this step? What do we do? Be committed, not only involved.

1) Accept God’s Son, Jesus as our Savior. Secure your eternity. “If we confess with our mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9).

2) Accept God’s Word as our Standard.  Allow His Word to teach you how to live. “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness…” (2 Timothy 3:16).

3) Accept God’s will as our Strategy. Not my will but Thine be done Lord. “I delight to do Your will, O my God, and Your law is within my heart” (Psalm 40:8).

4) Accept God’s power as our Strength. We need help but we want to be our own boss. Quit trying to live in your own strength! “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13)

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me” (Revelation 3:20).

Open the door and begin a relationship with God. Take a stand. Consciously choose God’s will. Jesus paid it all, all to Him we owe.

We will hit bad spots, switch to God’s help. He is at the door of your heart.

Will you let Him in

The Better Life of Peace

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 11, 2012 by greatvictories

You have heard that is was said, “You shall love your neighbor” and hate your enemy. But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven, for He makes His sun rise on the evil and the good, and send rain on the just and the unjust…Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect (Matthew 5:43-48).

As a Christian we are called to forgive no matter what. No matter how bad someone has hurt us. No exceptions.

Who would you consider an enemy, a parent, child, teacher, spouse, ex-spouse, friend, ex-friend, pastor? Have you forgiven them?  How do you respond to the enemies/adversaries in your world?

Jesus says to love ~ (an attitude or action, having a humble, self-giving heart, wanting the best for them, seeing them as God sees them).

There is a way to love our enemy ~ Jesus is our model. He doesn’t say they should face justice or that you have to have them over for dinner one night a week. But he does say to love them as a model of Jesus. “The thief does not come except to steal, kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly” (John 10:10).

Benefits of loving our enemies:

There’s a physical benefit. “A sound heart is life to the body, but envy is rottenness to the bones” (Proverbs 14:30). There is scientific evidence that surpressed anger, unforgiveness, and bitterness WILL affect our health. Healing WILL begin when we forgive and work through our pain.

There’s a psychological benefit. “For as a man thinks in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7a).

There’s a relational benefit. “He who covers a transgression seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates friends” (Proverbs 17:9). Love is the only power that can turn an enemy into a friend.

There’s a spiritual benefit. “But if you do not forgive men of their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Mathew 6:15). We accept God’s forgiveness, we must accept and forgive others’.

We reap what we sow. If we forgive, we reap forgiveness. If we bless, we reap blessings. “The generous soul will be made rich, and he who waters will also be watered himself” (Proverbs 11:25).

There’s a kingdom benefit. “For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brother only, what do you do more than others? Do not even tax collectors do so?” (Matthew 5: 46-48).

Love ~ Do what God has already done for us ~ Do unto others. Help those who hurt you. Return good for evil.

You may ask, “How do I do this?” Through the P-E-A-C-E process. “Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” (Romans 12:17-18).

P ~ Pray for God to give you the ability and love in your heart to forgive those who have hurt you. Pray also for those who hurt you. You will get personal healing. “…bless those who curse you, pray for those who spitefully use you” (Luke 6:28).

E ~ Empathize ~ Understand what they may be going through. Find out what is really going on under the surface. Hurt people, hurt people. Love the pearl that lies in the mire. “You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord” (Leviticus 19:18).

A ~ Act ~ Do good to those who hate you. Return good for evil. It is a choice you have to make. “But I say to you who hear: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you” (Luke 6:27).

C ~ Confess ~ Be willing to admit. Don’t be afraid to say, “I’m sorry, I was wrong.” Be a man or woman of character, humbling going beyond your pride and confess, turn and receive. Ask God if you might also be part to blame? “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy” (Proverbs 28:13).

E ~ Emulate ~ Imitate God! Jesus loved and forgave His enemies. Those who beat Him, those who spit on Him, those who denied Him, those who ridiculed Him and those who hung Him on the cross. What happened in the past ~ forgive. Show Jesus’ love that is working in your life. It’s tough. It’s freeing. It’s commanded. “Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, and offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma” (Ephesians 5:1-2).

When a man’s ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him (Proverbs 16:7). Submit to God’s ways. Love. Forgive. Do good to those who hurt you.

When will you initiate  the peace process? Only then can we live the better life, the abundant life!