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Life Hurts ~ God Heals ~ How To Avoid Relapse

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relapse prevention

 

“For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice, but what I hate, that I do. If then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law, that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells, for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do, but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me” (Romans 7:15-20).

Relapse ~ Falling back into a self-defeating pattern. How does it happen? 1) Complacency, we become complacent. 2) Confusion, we rationalize. 3) Compromise, we return to that risky behavior. 4) Catastrophe, we give in to the ould hurt or habit.

The road to recovery is not a quick fix. Sometimes the road is jagged, has a lot of twists and turns. Sometimes it is two steps forward and one step back.

No matter how we behave, God WANTS to heal us.

Part One ~ “R” Realize we are not God…

Part Two ~ “E” Earnestly believe that God exists…

Part Three ~ “C”  Consciously choose to commit all our life and will to Christ’s care and control.

Part Four ~ “O”  Openly examine and confess our faults to ourselves, to God, and to someone we trust.

Part Five ~ “V“ Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in our lives and humbly ask Him to remove our character defect.

Part Six ~ “E” Evaluate all my relationships and offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others except when to do so would harm them or others.

Part Seven ~ “R” Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for your life and gain the power to do it.

What Can Cause A Relapse? Why do we let it happen?

1) Reverting to will power ~ We think we have the ability to do it ourselves and stop depending on the dependency of God

“Are you so foolish? Having begun in the Spirit, are you now being made perfect by the flesh?” (Galatians 3:3)

2) Ignoring one of the steps ~ We can’t pick and choose then expect God to fulfill His promises. We need to follow all of God’s steps one at a time.

“You ran well. Who hindered you from obeying the truth?” (Galatians 5:7)

3) Trying to recover on our own without support ~ Don’t be afraid to get into relationships, they are for our best interest. (Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto).

We can’t find healing on our own. The root of our problems are relational. Live in God’s healing together. Don’t try to do it alone, it will not work.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up” (Ecc. 4:9-10).

4) Becoming prideful ~ Stay humble or you will stumble. Pride sets us up for failure.

“Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18).

“Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall” (1 Cor. 10:12).

How To Prevent A Relapse

Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for your life and gain the power to do it.

“Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing but the flesh is weak” (Mark 14:38).

1) Evaluation ~ Continue to evaluate our lives and how we are doing. “Let us search out and examine our ways, and turn back to the Lord” (Lam. 3:40).

What am I to evaluate?

Physical ~ What is my body telling me? Am I tense because I’m stressed out? Like the warning lights on our cars…pay attention, fix it.

Emotional ~ What am I feeling? Like a pop when you shake it, it explodes out. Eventually we will explode if we don’t deal with it.

Relational ~ Am I at peace with everyone or in conflict with someone that is keeping me from having peace and healing?

Spiritual ~ Am I relying on God and His power everyday or am I ignoring Him?

“But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another” (Galatians 6:4).

Expect God to help with answers and to give the power, wisdom and strength we need.

2) Meditation ~ Slow down long enough to hear God. Have time in our life to hear God, busyness stifles us from hearing God.

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bring forth its fruit in its season, whose leaves shall not wither, and whatever he does shall prosper” (Psalm 1:1-3).

3) Prayer ~ This is how we plug into God’s power.

“Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for Thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen” (Matthew 6:9-13).

God is so committed to our healing that He went to the Cross and died for us. Remember the sacrifice He made for us and be obedient to Him and His Word. Examine yourself and your heart. Recommit to Him and what He wants to do in your life.

Life Hurts ~ God Heals ~ Letting Go and Letting God

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 20, 2013 by greatvictories

Life hurts-God heals1

R.E.C.O.V.E.R.Y.

We are imperfect people living in an imperfect world ~ we all need recovery in one way or another. We get stuck in anger, grief, fear, depression, bad habits, bad relationships, guilt, and whatever else.

Part One ~ “R” – Realize we are not God: We admit we are powerless to control our tendency to do the wrong thing and our life is unmanageable. Naturally we do evil…In Christ we’re delivered from this body of death. That which we do we allow not. What we want to do is right but what we do is sin that dwells in us (Romans 7:15-17).

Part Two ~ “E” – Earnestly believe that God exists, that we matter to Him, and that He has the power to help us recover.

Part Three ~ “C” – Consciously choose to commit all our life and will to Christ’s care and control.

“Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

What could keep us from taking this step?

1) Pride ~ We don’t want to admit we need help. Be willing to set pride aside, we are not in control.

“Before destruction the heart of a man is haughty, and before honor is humility” (Proverbs 18:12). “The wise in heart will receive commands, but a prating fool will fall” (Proverbs 10:8).

2) Guilt ~ We are ashamed to ask God for help. We feel we don’t have a right to keep going to God.

“…for innumerable evils have surrounded me, my iniquities have overtaken me, so that I am not able to look up, They have more than the hairs of my head, therefore my heart fails me” (Psalms 40:12).

God is always waiting, don’t let guilt keep you from going to Him.

3) Fear ~ We’re afraid of what we’ll have to give up.

“For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?” (Mark 8:36).

What is your fear? Giving up control? God wants to set us free from whatever controls us. Let go and let God take control of your life. Give up control! He wants to set us free. He wants a relationship with us. Give up everything to Him. He’ll give back one hundred fold. Give Him what you have and don’t be afraid.

4) Worry ~ We confuse the decision phase with the problem-solving phase.

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your cares on Him, for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6-7).

Let God take care of the things you can’t. Pain brings a softening u so that we give up our pride and turn to God for help, allowing Him to control what we can’t.

“…being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6).

5) Doubt ~ My faith seems so small.

“So Jesus said to them, because of your unbelief, for assuredly I say to you, if you have faith of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you” (Matthew 17:20).

We don’t have to have all the answers before turning to God. Don’t let doubt stop you! We don’t clean a fish before we catch it. We have little faith, but we have a BIG God!

How do we take this step? What do we do? Be committed, not only involved.

1) Accept God’s Son, Jesus as our Savior. Secure your eternity. “If we confess with our mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9).

2) Accept God’s Word as our Standard.  Allow His Word to teach you how to live. “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness…” (2 Timothy 3:16).

3) Accept God’s will as our Strategy. Not my will but Thine be done Lord. “I delight to do Your will, O my God, and Your law is within my heart” (Psalm 40:8).

4) Accept God’s power as our Strength. We need help but we want to be our own boss. Quit trying to live in your own strength! “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13)

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me” (Revelation 3:20).

Open the door and begin a relationship with God. Take a stand. Consciously choose God’s will. Jesus paid it all, all to Him we owe.

We will hit bad spots, switch to God’s help. He is at the door of your heart.

Will you let Him in

Life Hurts ~ God Heals ~ The First Steps to Freedom.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 25, 2012 by greatvictories

We live in a fallen and broken world and God wants to heal us.

“I have seen his ways, and will heal him, I will also lead him, and restore comforts to him, and to his mourners. I created the fu=ruit of the lips, Peace, peace to him who is far off and to him who is near, says the Lord, and I will heal him” (Isaiah 57:18-19).

God, help us one step at a time.

What do you need to recover from? Overworking, grief, divorce, insecurity, gambling, overspending, hurtful relationships, overeating, guilt, abuse, perfectionism, lying, fear, anxiety, alcohol, drugs, sexual addictions, hyprchondria, procrastination, codependency, the need to control?

The first steps to R.E.C.O.V.E.R.Y:

Realize you am not God: We admit we are powerless to control our tendency to do the wrong thing and our life is unmanageable. Naturally we do evil…In Christ we’re delivered from this body of death. That which we do we allow not. What we want to do is right but what we do is sin that dwells in us (Romans 7:15-17).

The cause of our problem: Our sin nature.

How we “play” God:

By denying our humanity and by trying to control everything for selfish reasons.

1) Our image…we don’t want others to know who we really are. We wear a mask and it takes a lot of work to keep up.

2) Other people…Husband, wife, parents, children. we want people to do what we want them to do.

3) Our problems…We say, “I’m okay, I don’t have a problem, really, I’m fine.” Denying we are afraid or that our problems really exist.

4) Our pain…We try to avoid, escape, postpone our pain. We become depressed or angry with others.

STOP denying!! We need God’s help to heal!

The Consequences:

1) Fear ~ If people really knew, would they like me?  So he (Adam) said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, and I hid myself” (Genesis 3:10).

2) Frustration ~  Trying to control everything. Don’t be someone God never intended you to be or control what only God can control (Romans 7:14-25).

3) Fatigue ~ Don’t run and try to hide pain by keeping busy. What pain are you running from trying to “play” God? “For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me, my vitality was turned into the drought of summer. I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, “I will confess my transgressinon to the Lord,” and You forgave the iniquity of my sin” (Psalm 32:4-5).

4) Failure ~ Be honest with yourself and with God, He knows all about them anyway! Quit playing God! “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy” (Proverbs 28:13). God wants to heal us. There must be places and atmospheres where the sick can go for healing.

The Cure: Admit your powerlessness. Admitting our weaknesses gives us strength.

Admitting that you are not God means you know you are:

* Powerless to change: your past. You don’t have to allow your past to control your future.

* Powerless to control: other people.

* Powerless to cope: with your harmful habits.

Allow God to give you healing power. “But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6).

GRACE IS: the power to change. God wants to lead you and help you change. He is God, you are not!

How many suffer in silence from pain of the past? being hurt by someone? What problem in life have you been denying or controling?

Step down and let God heal you without judgment but with much grace and mercy.

Stay tuned, this is part one of many 🙂

Seeing Yourself As God Sees You

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 11, 2012 by greatvictories

Seeing through God’s eyes ~ Part 1

Oh, to see myself as my Savior sees me. I am learning to see myself the way God sees me. How about you? How do you see yourself? Who is your mirror? Your parents? Family members? Peers? Friends? Ex-spouse? Kids on the playground?

Seeing yourself through God’s eyes ~ “The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light” (Matthew 6:22)

Grasp how God sees you and it will change your life forever!

The most important perspective is how God sees you because of His grace…”that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life” (Titus 3:7).  See yourself from God’s point of view. He declares you good. He chose you. We don’t have to work for God’s acceptance.

If being chosen by man makes you feel good, how MUCH MORE since God choose you? “But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light…”  (1 Peter 2:9).

1) God sees you as acceptable in His sight. “When my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me” (Psalm 27:10).

Rejection is the number one hurt. We’ll do almost anything to gain approval of others. To be accepted, we’ll buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t even know.  We can never live up to some people, so we work and work to gain their approval. Hurt people hurt people. “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he…” (Proverbs 23:7)

2) God sees you as valuable. “Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouse nor barn, and God feeds them. Of how MUCH MORE value are you than the birds” (Luke 12:24)? “You were bought at a price, do not become slaves of men” (1 Cor. 7:23).

What is your value in life? How much do you think you are worth? Who owns you? Don’t confuse your net-worth with your self-worth.

The Cross of Jesus is your net-worth. You are that valuable to Him! Jesus paid it all! You are His son, His daughter. “You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world” (1 John 4:4).

3) God sees you as lovable. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).

God’s love is consistent. Human love is not. God’s love is unconditional. Not based on your performance but on God’s character, who He is.

“For the mountains shall depart and the hills be removed, but My kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord, who has mercy on you” (Isaiah 54:10).

Don’t doubt God’s love for you. Don’t seek approval. God has already given His approval. Believe what God alone says!

4) God sees you as forgivable. “I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake, and I will not remember your sins” (Isaiah 43:25).

Get to KNOW God and have a personal relationship with Him. No matter what others have said to you or about you, you are forgivable! “just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love…” (Ephesians 1:4).

5) God sees you as capable. “Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God, who also made us sufficient as ministers of the new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit, for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life” (2 Cor. 3:5-6).

Pride is the number one in man. Low self-esteem is an epidemic in our nation. Don’t live according to old messages of the past from people, start filling it with God’s word! “The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it MORE ABUNDANTLY” (John 10:10).

God  has a plan and a purpose. He is able and He is sufficient. “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

Jesus should be the most important person in your life. You’ll never regret it. See how God sees you…Acceptable, Valuable, Lovable, Forgivable, and Capable.

You CAN be what He wants you to be. “I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13).