Life Hurts ~ God Heals ~ Repair Relationships

R.E.C.O.V.E.R.Y

“Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:31-32).

Part One ~ “R” Realize we are not God…

Part Two ~ “E” Earnestly believe that God exists…

Part Three ~ “C”  Consciously choose to commit all our life and will to Christ’s care and control.

Part Four ~ “O”  Openly examine and confess our faults to ourselves, to God, and to someone we trust.

Part Five ~ “V“ Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in our lives and humbly ask Him to remove our character defect. Allow God’s Spirit to guide, direct, mold and make us into the image of Christ.

Part Six ~ “E” Evaluate all my relationships and offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others except when to do so would harm them or others.

Trying to right a wrong doesn’t always go the way we would like it to go, but we need to offer forgiveness and also ask for forgiveness. We are imperfect people, asking other imperfect people’s forgiveness.

You never have to forgive others more than God has forgiven you.

WHY FORGIVE THOSE WHO HAVE HURT ME?

1) Because God has forgive us ~ “…bearing with one another and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another, even as Christ has forgiven you, so you also must do” (Colossians 3:13).  “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). We must remember how much God has forgiven us.

2) Because resentment doesn’t work ~ “For wrath kills a foolish man, and envy slays a simple on” (Job 5:2) ~ “You are only hurting yourself with your anger” (Job 18:4a) It only hurts us if we don’t forgive others. It hurts us emotionally, physically and mentally.

HOW DO I FORGIVE THOSE WHO HAVE HURT ME?

1) Reveal our hurt. Get real with ourselves. Own up to what they did. Start with disclosure. Make a list of those who have harmed you and what they did.

2) We need to release our offender. Quit holding on to the hurt. Let it go! Write a letter to those who have hurt you, even if you don’t give or send it to them (Matthew 18:21-22).

3) Replace our hurt with God’s peace. Let God settle the score. He is going to make everything just. He can put the pieces back together again (Colossians 3:15).

WHY MAKE AMENDS WITH THOSE WHO HAVE HURT ME?

We have to do life God’s way, not our way!

“…looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God, lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled…” (Hebrews 12:15).

HOW DO I MAKE AMENDS WITH THOSE WHO HAVE HURT ME?

1) Make a list of those we have harmed and what we did. Do you have a debt? Have you broken a promise? Are you over controlling? Hypercritical? Lying? Abusive verbally? Emotionally? Physically? Forgetting? Unfaithful?

2) Think how we would like others to make amends with us. “Do to others as you would like them to do to you” (Luke 6:31).

There is a right time. “Because for ever matter there is a time and judgment, though the misery of man increases greatly” (Ecc. 8).

You have to have the right attitude.  Don’t try to justify it, just resume responsibility. “…but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head ~ Christ~” (Ephesians 4:15).

Never underestimate a sincere apology.

Is going to that person appropriate? The right thing to do? Ask God to help you! “There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health” (Proverbs 12:18).

3) We can refocus our life on God and His will for our life. “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” (Romans 12:18).

God wants to help us replace our hurts with His peace regardless of our actions. recognize the peace and freedom God wants to bring into your life. Open your heart and life to Him.

Life Hurts ~ God Heals ~ Making Changes

R.E.C.O.V.E.R.Y

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:1-2)

Part One ~ “R” Realize we are not God…

Part Two ~ “E” Earnestly believe that God exists…

Part Three ~ “C”  Consciously choose to commit all our life and will to Christ’s care and control.

Part Four ~ “O”  Openly examine and confess our faults to ourselves, to God, and to someone we trust.

Part Five ~ “V” Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in our lives and humbly ask Him to remove our character defect. Allow God’s Spirit to guide, direct, mold and make us into the image of Christ.

We all have hurts we will never forget, we all have hang ups we can’t really get rid of, we all have habits that are messing up our lives. This is why we must be “transformed” ~ change our minds. The only way we can be transformed is by changing our minds.

We are created in Christ’s image, image of perfect, blameless and beautiful, but we live in a fallen world ~ full of temptations, tragedies and sufferings that bring deterioration into our lives. God wants to restore that perfection and beauty back into our lives. To remove those chains that bind us, to keep us free to move forward. He wants to remove those hurts, hang-ups and habits.

If we want to change our lives we must change our thoughts. but how?

1) Focus on one defect at a time ~ “Wisdom is in the sight of man who has understanding, but the eyes of a fool are on the ends of the earth” (Proverbs 17:24). We get too overwhelmed if we try to change too many all at once. Let God pick one. Ask Him, and be honest, which one does He want you to work on? Trust Him and allow Him to have the reins in your life.

2) Focus on victory one day at a time ~ “Give us this day our daily bread” (Matthew 6:11). God gives us enough strength for today, not tomorrow, not next week, not next month or even next year, but TODAY. Don’t be so consumed by tomorrow that you forget about today.

So, how do we conquer life’s problems in our lives? One step at a time. Break it down into pieces we can manage, lean on God’s strength one day at a time. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Matthew 6:34). Cherish the moments of today, it will never come around again.

We live in an instant type world, instant coffee, instant potatoes, microwaves for instant cooking. Submit to God one day at a time. “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Like the saying goes, “Life is hard by the yard, but a cinch by the inch.”

3) Focus on God’s power ~ It is not your power. “Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard its spots? Then may you also do good who are accustomed to do evil” (Jeremiah 13:23).

Will power isn’t enough. Depending on our own strength blocks our recovery. God says we can’t do it, its hopeless to do it on our own. But…”I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). NOTHING can stand in our way when we rely on God’s power! Give your defect over to God and don’t pick them back up.

4) Focus on what you want (not selfishly) ~ “Finally brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, pure, lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things” (Philippians 4:8). That is not selfish.

Where our focus is, is where we are going to head toward ~ good or bad, past or present. focus on what God wants us to be, where He has us “today.” Whatever has our attention, has us. Whatever we resist, persists. Refocus, change the mental channel. focus on what is good and pure ~ engrain the Word of God in our minds.

God has forgotten the past, we are new creatures in Christ (2 Cor. 5:17). Our identity is no longer a defect. We are believers.

Think of recovery as ~ Everytime we fall down, whether by choice or by life happenings, God picks us up and re-covers us in His clothes, with His robe of righteousness (Isaiah 61:10).

5) Focus on doing good, not feeling good ~ “I say then; Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16). We need to have a shift in our thoughts. If we do the right thing, eventually our feelings will catch up. Fake it til’ you make it. We do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. Rise up out of obedience and our feelings will follow. Our thoughts determine our actions and our feelings will come along.

6) Focus on people who will help you, not on people who will hinder you ~ “Do not be deceived, evil company corrupts good habits” (1 Cor. 15:33). If we don’t want to get stung, stay away from the bees. be in a relationship with people who will help us, but most importantly with Jesus Christ.

7) Focus on progress, not perfection ~ “…being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6). It is a race, a decision that is followed by action. God is not going to abandon us. Don’t paint God as an earthly parent ~ they make mistakes. Let God’s Word tell us who He is. A God who is working a good work in us. He will not leave us high and dry. When the tough gets going He is right there to pick us up. He won’t love us any more or any less than He does right now! He is very concerned about our eternal salvation, concerned with this progress as a process in our life. He knows it is a race. He knows it is not going to be instant. He knows it is a journey.

God is ALWAYS with us to help us break the chains that bind us. He is with us through it all. We must turn our will over to Him that He may truly work in our life to make the changes He sees fit.

“Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded” (James 4:8).

He will draw near to us in whatever challenges we face. With His strength we will persevere and rise again and again!

Life Hurts ~ God Heals ~ Coming Clean

R.E.C.O.V.E.R.Y.

How to get your person put together so your world looks fine.

“I have seen his ways, and will heal him, I will lead him also, and restore comforts unto him and to his mourners. I create the fruit of the lips, Peace, peace to him that is far off, and to him that is near, saith the Lord, and I will heal him” (Isaiah 57:18-19).

Part One ~ “R” – Realize we are not God: We admit we are powerless to control our tendency to do the wrong thing and our life is unmanageable. Naturally we do evil…In Christ we’re delivered from this body of death. That which we do we allow not. What we want to do is right but what we do is sin that dwells in us (Romans 7:15-17).

Part Two ~ “E” – Earnestly believe that God exists, that we matter to Him, and that He has the power to help us recover.

Part Three ~ “C” – Consciously choose to commit all our life and will to Christ’s care and control.

Part Four ~ “O” – Openly examine and confess our faults to ourselves, to God, and to someone we trust.

“Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man to whom the Lord imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile” (Psalm 32:1-2).

Reasons for this step of, Openly examine and confess our faults to ourselves, to God, and to someone we trust:

“He that covers his sins shall not prosper, but whosoever confesses and forsakes them shall have mercy” (Proverbs 28:13).

1) Guilt destroys my confidence. “What if people really found out. What would they think of me?”

2) Guilt damages my relationships. “Causes me to react with impatience, anger, spoil or indulge people.”

3) Guilt keeps me stuck in the past. “Look out the windshield, not the review mirror.”

Guilt can’t change the past and worry can’t change the future.

How to take this step to house cleaning spiritual discipline:

1) Take personal moral inventory. “Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the Lord” (Lamentations 3:40).

Get alone with paper and pen, ask God to help you uncover them, confess them to God. Take your time and be honest with yourself and with God.

Search me, O God, and know my heart, try me, and know my thoughts, and if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24).

2) Accept responsibility for it. “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8).

We are good at fooling ourselves and allowing “stuff” to rule over our lives. Wherever we go, there we are. We cannot run  from it (sin). Don’t minimize it or blame others. Admit we messed up.

3) Ask forgiveness from God. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

Take your list to God, confess your sins. Don’t beg God to forgive you. Don’t bargin or bribe Him. Just ask and believe that He is going to forgive you. Be humble.

“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord, though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow, though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool” (Isaiah 1:18).

4) Admit your faults to another person. “Confess your faults one to another, and pray for another, that you may be healed. The effective fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much” (James 5:16).

Who? Someone you can trust. “This is who I am.”

What do you say? Take your list and be honest.

When? As soon as possible.

5) Accept God’s forgiveness and forgive yourself. “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God, being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus” (Romans 3:23-24).

“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit” (Romans 8:1).

STOP packing those burdens of guilt! Christ died so we can be FREE!!

God wants to heal us of our guilt.

Life Hurts ~ God Heals ~ Letting Go and Letting God

R.E.C.O.V.E.R.Y.

We are imperfect people living in an imperfect world ~ we all need recovery in one way or another. We get stuck in anger, grief, fear, depression, bad habits, bad relationships, guilt, and whatever else.

Part One ~ “R” – Realize we are not God: We admit we are powerless to control our tendency to do the wrong thing and our life is unmanageable. Naturally we do evil…In Christ we’re delivered from this body of death. That which we do we allow not. What we want to do is right but what we do is sin that dwells in us (Romans 7:15-17).

Part Two ~ “E” – Earnestly believe that God exists, that we matter to Him, and that He has the power to help us recover.

Part Three ~ “C” – Consciously choose to commit all our life and will to Christ’s care and control.

“Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

What could keep us from taking this step?

1) Pride ~ We don’t want to admit we need help. Be willing to set pride aside, we are not in control.

“Before destruction the heart of a man is haughty, and before honor is humility” (Proverbs 18:12). “The wise in heart will receive commands, but a prating fool will fall” (Proverbs 10:8).

2) Guilt ~ We are ashamed to ask God for help. We feel we don’t have a right to keep going to God.

“…for innumerable evils have surrounded me, my iniquities have overtaken me, so that I am not able to look up, They have more than the hairs of my head, therefore my heart fails me” (Psalms 40:12).

God is always waiting, don’t let guilt keep you from going to Him.

3) Fear ~ We’re afraid of what we’ll have to give up.

“For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?” (Mark 8:36).

What is your fear? Giving up control? God wants to set us free from whatever controls us. Let go and let God take control of your life. Give up control! He wants to set us free. He wants a relationship with us. Give up everything to Him. He’ll give back one hundred fold. Give Him what you have and don’t be afraid.

4) Worry ~ We confuse the decision phase with the problem-solving phase.

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your cares on Him, for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:6-7).

Let God take care of the things you can’t. Pain brings a softening u so that we give up our pride and turn to God for help, allowing Him to control what we can’t.

“…being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ” (Philippians 1:6).

5) Doubt ~ My faith seems so small.

“So Jesus said to them, because of your unbelief, for assuredly I say to you, if you have faith of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you” (Matthew 17:20).

We don’t have to have all the answers before turning to God. Don’t let doubt stop you! We don’t clean a fish before we catch it. We have little faith, but we have a BIG God!

How do we take this step? What do we do? Be committed, not only involved.

1) Accept God’s Son, Jesus as our Savior. Secure your eternity. “If we confess with our mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” (Romans 10:9).

2) Accept God’s Word as our Standard.  Allow His Word to teach you how to live. “All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness…” (2 Timothy 3:16).

3) Accept God’s will as our Strategy. Not my will but Thine be done Lord. “I delight to do Your will, O my God, and Your law is within my heart” (Psalm 40:8).

4) Accept God’s power as our Strength. We need help but we want to be our own boss. Quit trying to live in your own strength! “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13)

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me” (Revelation 3:20).

Open the door and begin a relationship with God. Take a stand. Consciously choose God’s will. Jesus paid it all, all to Him we owe.

We will hit bad spots, switch to God’s help. He is at the door of your heart.

Life Hurts ~ God Heals ~ Where to Get Help When You Hurt

How many suffer in silence from pain of the past? Being hurt by someone? What problem in life have you been denying or controlling?

Part One we looked at the first steps to R.E.C.O.V.E.R.Y. Realize we are not God: We admit we are powerless to control our tendency to do the wrong thing and our life is unmanageable. Naturally we do evil…In Christ we’re delivered from this body of death. That which we do we allow not. What we want to do is right but what we do is sin that dwells in us (Romans 7:15-17).

Now we will look at step two. “E” ~ Earnestly believe that God exists, that we matter to Him, and that He has the power to help us recover.

“But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him” (Hebrews 11:6).

Where there is a design, there is a designer. Where there is a creation, there is a Creator.

1) Acknowledge God’s existence. Believe He DOES exist.

“For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse” (Romans 1:20)

“Only fools say in their hearts, “There is no God” (Psalm 14:1).

2) Understand God’s character. Not just believing He is out there. So many of us make God in our image instead of letting Him make us in His image.

“He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation” (Colossians 1:15).

* God KNOWS all about our situations. The good, the bad and the ugly. He knows every fear, tragedy, inadequacy, hurt,  and joy.

“You number my wanderings, put my tears into Your bottle, Are they not in Your Book?” (Psalm 56:8). God has an interest in every pain, every tear.

“Oh God, You know my foolishness, and my sins are not hidden from You’ (Psalm 69:5).

* God CARES about our situations. He wants to be the father you may not have had.

“As a father pities his children, so the Lord pities those who fear Him. for He knows our frame, He remembers that we are dust” (psalm 103:13-14).

“But God demonstrated His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

* God can CHANGE us and our situation. Sometimes through crisis, confrontation or catastrophe.

“…which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at the right hand in the heavenly places” (Ephesians 1:20).

Don’t focus on the past all the time! God gave us power to change us and the situation! NOTHING is impossible! (Luke 18:27).

3) Accept God’s OFFER to help you. “For it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13).

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).

Things work best when they are plugged in 🙂

How to plug into God’s power…BELIEVE, and RECEIVE His help! Humble yourself to ask and receive help. It takes risk, pain and humility to experience TRUE life. (Isaiah 43:2)

Where are you hurting today? Plug into God’s power. Don’t deny your pain. Diligently seek God (Hebrews 11:6) each and every day.

Step down and let God heal you without judgment but with much grace and mercy.