Intimacy (into-me-see)

I am basically afraid of intimacy (into-me-see) because of a deficiency of expressed parental love or because I experienced some traumatic form of rejection in the past. (A bit of both I would say).

So I have set up boundaries and walls to keep people out so I can protect myself from the pain of more rejection.

This is hindering me from having an intimate fellowship with God and a healthy relationship with others.

At the core of this fear is deception…the adversary tells me that God doesn’t love me unless I do this or do that, perform enough to earn His love, thus, increasing the depth of my guilt and shame, which makes it difficult to receive Father God’s gift of unmerited love and favor.

You were created in God’s image, and God is love!

Who’s image do I walk in??? A Martha image, busy doing, doing, doing.

My image of myself will determine the depth of intimacy I will have with God, Larry, my children and others.

Jesus says; “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the greatest and foremost commandment. The second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:37-40)

Its all about love, but I want to make it about everything else. I have put the Great Commission before the Great Commandment.

For years I have been singing “Jesus loves me this I know” and haven’t experienced this truth to the deepest depths of my core need…RECEIVING GOD’S LOVE!!!

Like my momma, for so many years I have been priding myself on my self-sufficiency and my independence, not realizing that this attitude is completely contrary to the nature Father God wants me to have.

The Father’s perfect plan is to provide me with a way to meet the need for intimacy ~ to know and to be known ~  to fellowship with Him and other. I was created for LOVE!

God wants me to have fellowship with Him, but a true relationship with Him will not come at the expense of intimacy with Larry and my family.

“It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make him a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18)

Adam and Eve stood before one another naked and unashamed. They became one flesh. The fully knew and were known by each other, with nothing hidden, nothing held back. That is true intimacy (into-me-see)!

Because I have been hurt and disappointed at some point in my life…who hasn’t? I’m afraid to take the risk to know others or to be known. I’m holding back in my relationships, afraid to share my true self in fear of rejection.

Jesus came to restore my capacity for love and intimacy, despite all the many times I have been hurt. Thank You Jesus!!

“The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ.” (Romans 8:16-17)

In Jesus, I inherited all that was lost in the fall ~ not only healing, joy and salvation, but also my capacity to love fully and to be loved.

My responsibility is to allow intimacy (into-me-see) to become a priority in my life.

I am showing love to everyone else, but I am denying true intimacy with Larry. I’m not embracing my full responsibility for walking in PaPa’s love. OUCH…I repent right now!

It’s like, I need other people to praise my accomplishments in order to feel good about myself…OUCH! STOP, DON’T!! I am God’s favored child, base my self-worth on who God created me to be ~ a gift of His love to others.

It’s God’s love, not my achievements that will fill the void in my life, in my heart. If I don’t feel good about myself, it’s difficult to achieve true intimacy (into-me-see) with Larry.

As I begin to submit to a lifestyle of love and intimacy, God is faithful to transform my nature in ways I would never imagine!

Practice opening up my heart and allow the love of PaPa God to flow through me to Larry and my family.

God’s a lover looking for a lover, so He fashioned me. God’s a lover looking for a lover so he formed my heart. There should be nothing more normal on earth than being a lover!

Begin to foster genuine intimacy (into-me-see) in my relationships! I can’t withdraw from the bank what I haven’t deposited.

Until I have an encounter with PaPa God and allow His unconditional love to fill the hurt and empty places in my heart, it is difficult to pour out love to others.

Embracing My Heavenly Father

What does a father’s embrace feel like? What is a father’s love? How do I accept or receive it when I don’t know what its like? I vaguely remember my earthly daddy, he went to heaven when I was four years old. What I do remember is his hugs, the smile he always had on his face, laughter, and he always read us stories. I don’t even remember what stories they were, by I sure remember him reading to us and always laughing.

The two step father’s we had were not involved in us kids or any of our activities as we were growing up. Momma was though. She made sure we were loved and well cared for! She made sure we had what we needed ~ including love.

So my journey begins…Being still (which is hard for me to do, I’m a Martha, Martha type gal), so I can seek a fresh insight into the spiritual (Biblical) conception of God as a Father…Seek, and ye shall find…A father’s love and a father’s relationship.

I long to know Him more fully as my PaPa, my Daddy. I long to know the true loving nature of God as Father. I want to come into a life transforming relationship with the One who loves me so passionately! Uncommon love is His gift to me in Christ. He has dealt with my past and He owns my future!

I want to encounter His unconditional affection and feel His unconditional acceptance. I want to hear His tender words of love in deeper ways than I have ever known. I want to live in the present moment filled and surrounded with uncommon love. I want to feel free to “relax” in PaPa’s embrace. Relax? I’m a Martha, remember J

Being a Martha type person it isn’t easy to “be still,” I seem to have to be “doing” something all the time. Larry says he only sees me relax when I’m sleeping…

So it’s a real discipline and lots of praying for me to be still. But its something my Daddy wants me to do so I can be free from all the strongholds holding me from accepting and receiving His love for me.

Move over Mary, here I come, to sit at the feet of Jesus.

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

After much prayer, Papa revealed to me that my biggest hindrance to believing that He really loves me is ~ fear and rejection.

So, how can I accept and receive Father God’s love so that I can give it to others?

BELIEVE, TRUST = FAITH

Father God, I ask for a deeper revelation of you and your love…actually experiencing your love breaking forth in my areas of need…Give me a fresh revelation of your power and grace. In Jesus name, thank You. Amen & Amen

LET THIS JOURNEY BEGIN PAPA…

My child, You are the one I love, and on You My favor rests. (Mark 1:11) You were created by God to receive and express love. You have closed your heart to love so you can’t feel the pain that throbs inside your soul.

Love is not about what you do, but who you are.

My love for you is deeper than you could ever imagine! Your mind needs to be renewed by the Holy Spirit until you can truly say as John declared; “And I have come to know (experience) and have believed the love which God has for me. God is love.” (1 John 4:16)

Father God takes delight in you and thinks good thoughts about you all the time. (Jeremiah 29:11) He feels nothing but perfect love when He thinks about you. Love thinks no evil. (1 Cor. 13:5)